I’m Not The Mom I Thought I’d Be

I’m not the mom I thought I would be. I mean I knew I would be a good mom but I didn’t expect this. Before I was a mom I taught preschool. I loved my job. I loved working with the kids and watching them grow, but I did not (usually) enjoy their parents. Looking back now I think I would understand them a lot better now that I’m a mom. I often wonder how I would be a different teacher now Noah is here.

So what kind of mom did I turn out to be? Well, for one I’m extremely attached. I hate to be away from Noah, absolutely hate it. If I had it my way he’d go with me everywhere (which he pretty much does.) I know at some point this will probably change so I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I’m a breast feeding mamma. From the beginning I planned on breast feeding but I never thought I would end up being so passionate about it. The first few weeks were incredibly hard (and not to mention painful! Oh the pain!) but I am so glad I stuck with it because I love knowing that I am responsible for Noah’s nourishment. I honestly believe it has been crucial in our bonding experience. (I’m not saying I have anything against formula fed babies. Breastfeeding is not for everyone and I know that but it was the right choice for me.) Noah has only had formula 4 times. One of which was immediately after he was born because his blood sugar was getting dangerously low. The other three times he threw it up. Luckily I haven’t had to try it again and I hope I won’t have to.

I’m a co-sleeping mamma. Before Noah was born I swore up and down my baby would not sleep in bed with me. Then he was born and I was terrified to put him down. I would stay up all night watching him. I literally slept like 6 hours the entire first 4 days he was alive. Although many people thought I should have Noah in his crib or bassinet it just felt right having him sleep with us. I don’t know how else to explain it. Now he is 6 months old and we are beginning to make the transition to his pack and play (which is of course right next to our bed) but he still ends up in bed with us in the middle of the night.

I’m a baby wearing mamma. One of my favorite things is my Moby wrap. It’s great to be able to have Noah cuddled against me while having my hands free.  Although everytime I wear it I can’t help but think of that scene in Away We Go where Maggie Gyllenhaal say’s she doesn’t use a stroller because she doesn’t want to push her babies away from her. Luckily Noah has loved the Moby since the beginning. It sure was a lifesaver when colic struck! Here’s a picture of Noah in the Moby.

I’m a “crunchy” sort of mom.  Okay, so I’m not super crunchy but I’m much more than I ever thought I would be. I’ll admit I used to laugh at my hippy friends and their home remedies and now I find myself researching the effectiveness of things like garlic oil for ear infections. I’m also making my own baby food and loving it. I think it goes back to the whole knowing I’m the one responsible for Noah’s nourishment thing.

These are just a few of the things I wasn’t expecting when I became a mom. But most of all, my hope is just that I am the best mom I can be. Noah’s am extremely happy baby, so I know I’m doing something right.