I’m Not The Mom I Thought I’d Be

I’m not the mom I thought I would be. I mean I knew I would be a good mom but I didn’t expect this. Before I was a mom I taught preschool. I loved my job. I loved working with the kids and watching them grow, but I did not (usually) enjoy their parents. Looking back now I think I would understand them a lot better now that I’m a mom. I often wonder how I would be a different teacher now Noah is here.

So what kind of mom did I turn out to be? Well, for one I’m extremely attached. I hate to be away from Noah, absolutely hate it. If I had it my way he’d go with me everywhere (which he pretty much does.) I know at some point this will probably change so I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I’m a breast feeding mamma. From the beginning I planned on breast feeding but I never thought I would end up being so passionate about it. The first few weeks were incredibly hard (and not to mention painful! Oh the pain!) but I am so glad I stuck with it because I love knowing that I am responsible for Noah’s nourishment. I honestly believe it has been crucial in our bonding experience. (I’m not saying I have anything against formula fed babies. Breastfeeding is not for everyone and I know that but it was the right choice for me.) Noah has only had formula 4 times. One of which was immediately after he was born because his blood sugar was getting dangerously low. The other three times he threw it up. Luckily I haven’t had to try it again and I hope I won’t have to.

I’m a co-sleeping mamma. Before Noah was born I swore up and down my baby would not sleep in bed with me. Then he was born and I was terrified to put him down. I would stay up all night watching him. I literally slept like 6 hours the entire first 4 days he was alive. Although many people thought I should have Noah in his crib or bassinet it just felt right having him sleep with us. I don’t know how else to explain it. Now he is 6 months old and we are beginning to make the transition to his pack and play (which is of course right next to our bed) but he still ends up in bed with us in the middle of the night.

I’m a baby wearing mamma. One of my favorite things is my Moby wrap. It’s great to be able to have Noah cuddled against me while having my hands free.  Although everytime I wear it I can’t help but think of that scene in Away We Go where Maggie Gyllenhaal say’s she doesn’t use a stroller because she doesn’t want to push her babies away from her. Luckily Noah has loved the Moby since the beginning. It sure was a lifesaver when colic struck! Here’s a picture of Noah in the Moby.

I’m a “crunchy” sort of mom.  Okay, so I’m not super crunchy but I’m much more than I ever thought I would be. I’ll admit I used to laugh at my hippy friends and their home remedies and now I find myself researching the effectiveness of things like garlic oil for ear infections. I’m also making my own baby food and loving it. I think it goes back to the whole knowing I’m the one responsible for Noah’s nourishment thing.

These are just a few of the things I wasn’t expecting when I became a mom. But most of all, my hope is just that I am the best mom I can be. Noah’s am extremely happy baby, so I know I’m doing something right.

My Road to Mommyhood

I’m a good mom. That might sounds arrogant but I know that it’s the truth. I always knew I was meant to be a mom, there was never any doubt for me. I always knew I would be a young mom too. Not sure how I knew it. I just did. Maybe it’s because my mom had all three of us girls before she was 22 (sounds crazy I know.) I actually would have thought I would have become a mom younger than 24 but looking back I’m glad it happened when it did.

Having a baby was not easy for us. It took about 15 months, which isn’t incredibly long, but I come from an extremely fertile family so it felt like forever. Once we started trying to conceive we quickly found that I had polycystic ovarian syndrome.  In short, I don’t ovulate on my own. Luckily we found this out pretty early and immediately went on progesterone and Clomid. Four months and 3 different doses later and I still wasn’t ovulating regularly so we added Metformin to the bunch. (By the way Metformin is a diabetes medicine and since I am not in fact diabetic it made me very sick.) Luckily 2 months later we were pregnant. Honestly, I had just started to accept the fact that it might not happen to us and it was actually the 1st month that I was sure I wasn’t pregnant. (True story I took a pregnancy test on the earliest possible day because of a fortune cookie I got at Panda Express.)

I found out I was pregnant on Feb. 1st 2009 (which was super bowl Sunday.) We were so excited we couldn’t wait to tell our friends and family. My pregnancy went pretty smooth (4 weeks of morning sickness but nothing too bad) and except for a scare at 12 weeks thanks to a low lying placenta, it went pretty well. Did I mention that I live in AZ and was it was 100+ degrees my entire last trimester?

Fast forward a bit to Oct 2nd when our world was changed forever. After about 8 hours of labor (I know 1st babies are supposed to take a lot longer) Noah arrived and I knew my life would never be the same. Here’s a few of my favorite pictures from that day.

Hi my name is Ashley and I am blogging illiterate.

This isn’t my 1st attempt at a blog. I tried a personal blog a few years ago and all was well for about a week. Then it got pushed to the side like so many of my other projects. I also did the pregnancy blog thing and that went a little better. It was a great way to keep family who lives far away updated on the pregnancy. So here it is, my 3rd attempt. (The 3rd times a charm right???) I’ve been so inspired by all of the great mommy blogs out there and I’m really not sure I have anything to offer but I’m going to give it a shot. If nothing else I hope this blog can be a way for me to keep account of all of the amazing things that Noah does. Did I mention that I am the mom a 6 month old little boy who I’m pretty sure is the greatest thing on the planet. He’s the light of my life. I’m also blessed with an amazing husband who has made so many sacrifices for my to be a stay at home more, and for that I am eternally grateful.  So here it is, my 1st post. Hopefully it will be the first of many…